Title: When Choices Are Lost
Author: DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2
Characters: Sayid & Ben (For Prologue. More in later Chapters.)
Disclaimer: Lost is owned by: J.J., Damon Lindelof, Touchstone & ABC. No money being made, but after the work my co-author & beta put into this project, I’ll own them money.
Spoilers: Season 1 – 4
Summary: When Choices Are Lost, What Will A Man Do To Get Them Back? (Sayid - Centric)
LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST
Prologue (Ben POV)
“Take your shirt off. I should have known something like this was going to happen. That’s what happens when you fall for your target.” Sayid leans against the doorway, removing his jacket and shirt, looks at me, “Is she dead?”
“Yes.” As the tears slowly fall from his eyes, I wonder what he’s thinking right at this moment. This is a lot of dead women for one man.
“Why didn’t she kill you?” He has to keep talking because I have to find out what he knows. He grimaces, as I stitch his wound.
“She was trying to get information.”
“What sort of information?” I ask.
“She wanted to know who I worked for. She wanted to know about you.” He looks at me like I should have already known the answer to that question.
I laugh to myself. Finally I get the heart of the matter. “Of course she did.” I look at him. He’s crying—look at him.
“Why are you crying? Because it hurts or because you were stupid enough to care for her?”
He’s a solider & torturer and look at him now: He really has a thing for blonds. I wait for an answer.
“These people don’t deserve our sympathies. Need I remind you what they did last time you thought with your heart instead of your gun?” I ask, knowing it hurts. It was meant to. The look of pure hatred lets me know, I struck a nerve.
“You used that to recruit me into killing for you,” he says. Maybe there is some fire left in him yet.
“Do you want to protect your friends or not, Sayid?” That one always reels him back in. “I have another name for you.”
“But they know I’m after them now.”
I look at him. “Good.”
LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST ~ LOST
Finally he’s gone. How did I get myself into this? Of all the men in the world I’m working for Ben Linus. It’s strange what revenge will do to a man. He gave me Ishmael Bakir, for that I’m in his debt. As I sit back and closed my eyes.
Where does this end? How far do I go to protect my friends? What does Ben really want from me? He says bad things have happened on the island since we left, but I don’t know. Can I really trust him?
Why can’t I protect the women I love? The pain in my arm will be gone soon but not from my heart. Now is not the time to think of these things. A gentle breeze blows across my face. It reminds me of her.
LOST ~ Flashback ~ LOST
“You are beautiful.” I said quietly so the beautiful women in question didn’t wake. We never made it past the signal fire last night.
I could still feel her soft lips pressed against my own. “What was that for?” I asked. But I did not wish to get my hopes up.
“Everyone gets a new life on this island. I'd like to start now,” she said.
I always knew she was a smart woman. We found a tree and sat under it and talked for hours. As the night went on, Shannon ended up in my arms and fell asleep. Not once did I close my eyes for fear of missing something.
“With all of your thinking and staring, I can’t sleep. God, what time is it?” she asked quietly. I laughed. I was not staring.
“Still early yet.”
She gives me a look, which I understood very well. She wanted to know the exact time. “It’s 6:15, Shannon. Go back to sleep; I’ll wake you in a few hours.”
“It’s alright. I have to go anyway,” she said.
The look again. “The bathroom.”
“Well, you ‘go’ and I’ll gather breakfast for us. Meet me at your shelter,” I was on a roll that morning and she gave me the look for the third time. “So we can eat breakfast then work on your shelter,” I added.
“Fine,” she laughed. I sat back and watched her walk away. She returned a second later and gave me a kiss on the check, “Good morning.”
It is a very good morning. Why did I listen to Boone in the first place? Who was I kidding? I was lucky she was talking to me at all. I spoke to everyone I passed that morning. I was in a very good mood as I gathered breakfast and headed back toward her shelter.
I saw her sitting there and staring out at the ocean. The wind blew her hair and she was relaxed and happy. I could smell her Lavender perfume. I knew I would remember this moment forever.
“Breakfast?” I asked. The warm gentle smile I received let me know that working on her shelter was now on the bottom of my to-do list.
We sat, our legs tangled together as we fed each other breakfast. Hurley walked past with a big smile and threw me a thumbs up. I smiled back at him.
For the first time in so long I was happy.
LOST ~ End Flashback ~ LOST
It’s funny how a small breeze can remind you of such things, things that you forget. And true to my word, that is a moment I never forgot. As a calming peace washes over me, I almost forget where I am and what I’m doing here. Almost.
My next target is in L.A. At least I can go visit and take her some flowers. It’s been awhile. I know she understands or at least I hope she understands. My alarm goes off and I push the button on my watch. It’s time to go. I have a 6:00 am flight and I need to buy clothes.
Besides, it’s too many memories for one day.
“Sayid…..” I hear a soft women’s voice say.
I pull my gun; all pain forgotten.
“Who’s there?” No answer. “I will not repeat myself, who’s there?”
As I turn around the small room ready for anything, I see a face that I knew I would never see again.
Maybe I wasn’t ready for anything.
TBC…………………. Enter Lost Music here.
Author’s Notes: Hello out there!!! Thanks for taking time out to read my first FanFic. I could not have done any of this without my co-author I Love JaSam and my beta Faithfulwriter, for reading over this and making something you guys might actually want to read. I take all feedback, good or bad. We’ll never get better if we don’t know what we did wrong.
DiorNicole & I Love JaSam 2